On June 3rd, 2022, bedroom-pop songwriter quinnie posted a TikTok promoting her new song, “Man,” with the following description: “a song abt men who will use a facade of softness to convince u they are more harmless than the rest.” On October 11th, chart-topping singer-songwriter Rex Orange County, real name Alexander O’Connor, was charged with six counts of sexual assault by a young woman in London. The charges against O’Connor came swiftly after an announcement canceling the European, Australian, and New Zealand leg of his Who Cares? tour, and a month after the release of quinnie’s “Man.” Seizing the opportunity to discuss the phenomenon of ‘soft boys’ like O’Connor who mask their sexual aggression with painted nails—or, perhaps more cynically, to promote her new song—quinnie posted a not-so-subtle TikTok referencing the assault allegations. On October 11th, she put it simply: “another indie man bites the dust. if u know what i mean….” set to her song, “Man.” Her comments section? went wild.
The song “Man” tells the story of a heartbroken girl, angry with both herself and her presumed ex-boyfriend because the trope he embodied—the artsy, gentle romantic—proved to be misleading. In the chorus, she explodes at the relationship’s childishness (“so fuck all your gold stars”), referencing the sticker one might receive in elementary school for good behavior. She sees through these gold stars in the end when the “sprinklers turn on” as she leaves his house late at night, revealing he was using her for sex instead of pursuing a genuine relationship. She realizes her own faulty tendencies, admitting she’s “spent life holding other people’s aches in safe-keeping,” but eventually places the blame on his “soft boy scam.” The thesis of the song rings true in the chorus’ closing line: “no amount of nail polish could paint you a good man,” referring to the trend among self-described “indie” men painting their nails to appear feminine – gender-coded for ‘in touch with their emotions.’
While telling a vivid story of her past relationship, quinnie simultaneously speaks to the broader topic of appropriation of femininity for male gain—i.e. the ‘soft boy scam.’ Many of the comments on her first promotional TikTok celebrate this conversation and her lyricism (“this is like genuinely good tiktok artist music thank u”). Yet her fans criticized her engagement with the recent Rex Orange County news, commenting knocks such as “babe not the time or place,” “read the room,” and, quite on the nose, “interesting choice to use this situation as a promo opportunity.”
O’Connor and quinnie are peers in their genre and consistent residents of indie’s gold-standard institution, Spotify’s “Lorem” playlist. O’Connor is the more commercially successful and well-known of the two, with achievements such as topping the UK charts with his most recent album, Who Cares?, and collaborating with Tyler the Creator on his Grammy-nominated album Flower Boy. O’Connor’s personal aesthetic image fits just as well into the indie genre as his music: ring-wearing, painted nails, and soft-spoken. As much as the public knows O’Connor from his interviews and acoustic sessions, it seems he fits quinnie’s description of a ‘soft boy.’ His ‘scam,’ of course, is revealed by the allegations of sexual assault, fracturing his streak of ‘good behavior.’
Within the confines of an app deeply driven by metrics and self-promotion, especially for up-and-coming artists, it is unsurprising that quinnie’s fans would assume an ulterior motive to her video. Admittedly, to say O’Connor “bites the dust” is a rather cavalier synonym for sexual assault allegations. However, quinnie’s response speaks exactly to the problem of metric-driven music: the constant battle between profit and art. In a later video, she writes, “this event is indicative of a larger social issue, one that i have fallen victim to… and my art is a reflection of my experience and is my most valuable contribution to this conversation.” While clearly aligning herself with her art, she still faces the argument from fans that her self-promotion profits off the suffering of Rex Orange County’s accuser. quinnie has moved on from the debate, dedicating her most recent videos to promoting a new song,“itch.” Yet her comments are still peppered with criticism about her marketing tactics for “Man,” begging the question of whether TikTok and the music it hosts can be separated from the money and career-making algorithm.